lunhs cancer

"Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think."   I'm tired of being reminded of the fleeting nature of our time on Earth.  I'm tired of being aware that this can all end so quickly.  I'm tired of knowing how important it is to stop and smell the roses, that the frost is coming soon.  I'm tired of happy moments carrying the pang of realization that this can be gone in the blink of an eye.  Understanding the importance of living for today is a terribly heavy weight to carry. "when Time and Life shook hands and said goodbye." I'm so tired of people in my community dying.

It's my birthday!!! I am very excited to say that I turned 38 today. I wasn't sure if I would see this day, but it is here, and it is great. I've never been one to be ashamed of growing older, but especially now I see each day as a success. I'm still here! I'm still enjoying happy times with my family, soaking up the tiny bit of sun that is starting to warm up our seemingly-never-ending winter, and even dreaming about planting a garden. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Don't dread growing old; it is a privilege that not everyone gets to enjoy. What a joy it would be to grow old To watch my hair turn gray To see my face crease and wrinkle With the fingerprint of time. What a privilege it would be  To trade my near-sighted specs for those with a line or two To shout, "eh, sonny?" And debate the virtues of denture creams. How wondrous to watch my skin sag To be called "Over the Hill" Or "past my prime" Or Granny. What a joy it would...

I went Off to See the Wizard , and believe me, Oz is really something. He answered all my questions and explained things I didn't even know I didn't know. And he insisted we take a closer look at my brain. So we did. And the results? I have a brain, and it is unremarkable. Hooray!!! Xalkori is an amazing drug, but its Achilles heel is the brain, since it cannot cross the blood-brain barrier. If one single stray cancer cell makes its way up there, the cancer can flourish in a medicine-free environment. Half of the people whose cancer progresses on Xalkori have their first progression in the brain. My wizard insisted that I have an MRI of the brain, since I have only had head CTs up to this point, which do not reveal the same level of detail. His philosophy is to catch the little buggers when they are tiny to keep ahead of the cancer rather than waiting until they are causing symptoms. Pretty smart, I'd say, but unfortunately not how things are typically done. Hopefully the t...

Medicine is expensive. Healthcare is expensive. Research is expensive. Life is expensive. Is it worth it? I read an article (thanks to @BrendonStilesMD for tweeting it) which purports that crizotinib (aka Xalkori, aka my life-saving medicine) is not worth the expense.  �Crizotinib Not Cost-Effective, Says Canadian Study� Yes, this is a very expensive medicine (about $10,000/month), and I am grateful to Pfizer's co-pay assistance program which lowered my co-pay from $1,600/month to $10/month.  Perhaps what bothered me even more than the article were some of the comments, left by doctors: "It would be justified if this drug really cures the patient and save a life. After all life cannot be measured in dollars. But it does not cure any cancer at all, merely delaying the inevitable end by a few months or (if the patient is very lucky), one or two years. What right have drug firms to charge such a huge price by pretending that a modest palliation is a cure?" or "O...